I feel that need for for a finish of some sort.
An end. A How to end
How to end connections
How to end work
How to end judgements
How to end a journeys
How to end questions
How to end predictions
How to end failings
How to end experiences
How to end my learning
How to end a presentation.
How to end to start again.
How to end and tell you what I ended
An earlier Image: I saw a picture of a snowman one day after placement. The Falling solo snowman. I looked at it and scrutinized its imperfections from many angles. Walking through Glasgow Green from the white house studios, after seeing Natasha’s work in rehearsal for the 9th time. I walked and thought: That’s me done for the day. Go home now. I did that workshop. I created that movement. I put that piece together. I still felt lost because I don’t just want to walk someone else’s shoes. I wasn’t on placement to become this other practitioner. I was here to find out what I could take forward from my experiences. I constantly felt the need to do it perfect and do it Natasha’s way, falling into the techniques of how she successfully runs a workshop or directs a group.
It was never my aim to become someone else’s practice.
I asked myself the important question why do I like movement? Why is it important to have a physical practice? I feel the need to move. Remembering that anything can inspire. Letting my creativity speak out in ways planned and those that weren’t. Realising that a physical practice comes from attempting one and not saying may be I’m not that thing because I didn’t learn it that way.
The Image today, the last day: Its Wednesday and it feels strange. I should be in Maryhill right now getting ready for their latest project. Instead I walk up the stone stairs from St Georges Cross Tube stop. I stop and carry another three bags for a person who needed a little less weight to carry for that day. A helping hand. Being aware of my surroundings and doing what needs done at that moment (just a little something I learnt).
It is always hard to finish with projects. Sometimes you need to close the book on one chapter to start another.
MY RULES – To maintain the responsibilities, not forgetting past experiences, to keep close connects and make your decisions when it is right for you. That way you give all that you can at each moment a new task arises.